I don’t profess to be an expert at relationships. My own marriage is always a work in progress, and most of the time I feel like I could be doing a better job.
Reading this makes me laugh. We give ourselves so many moving plates to keep up in the air, us women. Men, too.
So there’s room for softening around this–taking the pressure off and acknowledging my own habit of self-judgement.
There’s also this: Love is Always Given.
I heard this the other day, as I was tuning in before a client session, and thinking about her and what’s she’s in the midst of. One of the things she’s looking at is Love. How loved does she feel in her marriage? Is it enough?
Love is Always Given.
I hear this again as I write this to you, and it feels momentous.
What if it means two things?
1. That love is always given to us, by Grace, through Life, Spirit, God–no matter what, always, no holds barred, no exceptions.
2. That love isn’t something we get; it’s something we give.
What if letting love in isn’t about letting ourselves be loved, but about letting ourselves Love?
It’s true, we need to feel the love of ourselves . But relationship is expected to bring the feeling of the love of another . My partner is able to ghost, ignore, ‘withhold’. Of course I can look out of the window and imagine a new place, a different life , a new dance partner . That doesn’t feel like a ‘solution’ – but more like beginning again all over.
So I can feel, loving myself Ok, but often rather lonely and lost in the fog of ‘love’
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Nailed it. You absolutely nailed it.
It’s true, we need to feel the love of ourselves . But relationship is expected to bring the feeling of the love of another . My partner is able to ghost, ignore, ‘withhold’. Of course I can look out of the window and imagine a new place, a different life , a new dance partner . That doesn’t feel like a ‘solution’ – but more like beginning again all over.
So I can feel, loving myself Ok, but often rather lonely and lost in the fog of ‘love’