The Real Secret to The Secret

There’s something major missing from the teachings of The Secret. “I did everything the way they said,” a friend tells me, “I sat there every day and visualized my dream car. I still don’t have it.” “I read all this stuff,” another friend says, “But it’s actually applying it to my life in a way that works that I’m missing.” What’s missing is more than the application to daily life, it’s the connection to the universe.

Life Coach and transformation catalyst Martha Beck, PhD, explains what some call The Law of Attraction in four practical, powerful steps.

1. Wordlessness

A state where words are no longer dominant. Most of us are very used to having a constant stream of thoughts racing through our head–something many spiritual teachers call ‘monkey mind’ and liken to the never-ending stream of headlines at the bottom of the screen during a CNN broadcast. But experiencing a lack of streaming words is rare. From a metaphysical perspective, this constant stream of thinking and words gets in the way of feeling our connection to the universe–cosmic energy. From a biological perspective, it gets in the way of hearing the messaging coming from the non-verbal part of our brain–which processes 11 million bits of information per second. Compare this to the amount of info the verbal brain processes: 40 bits of information per second.

Ways to tap into Wordlessness: meditation does it for me–and by that I mean traditional seated, or walking. Mindfulness practices involving bringing all of my awareness and intention to one, two or all of my senses, also enable me to drop into wordlessness. Martha Beck recommends one of her favorites, which also happens to be very similar to a practice recommended by MD’s Richard Brown and Patricia Gerbarg: sensing your heartbeat, and then your pulse moving through your body.

2. Oneness

Here’s a term that comes fully loaded–but not with as much expectation and conflict as other terms used to describe this state (joy, love, peace). For me it’s synonymous with ‘unity’. A sense of being connected to all things, including people, birds, animals, trees, the sun, the moon, the universe. This arises for me within my practices that invite wordlessness. Martha Beck talks about tons of different techniques, including simply remembering a moment when you felt deeply connected to another person. And then doing it again, and again, filling yourself, and an imaginary treasure chest, with memories you can call on at will when you need them. Here’s the trick: oneness isn’t about possession or attachment. It’s about recognizing a connection that exists whether we ask for it or not; we’re just becoming aware of it in different forms.

3. Imagination

Simple, right? But combined with non-attached oneness it’s incredibly powerful. Because when we imagine from a state of connection to the universe, we tap into more than our ego-based dreams. We envision in alignment with our dharma–our purpose for being on this planet. And not only are THOSE dreams the ones that will truly bring us happiness, they’re also the ones that will come most easily. So my friend who wanted her dream car? Probably not imagining from a place of wordlessness and oneness. Had she been a race car driver, fueled and lit up and joy-filled by cars her entire life…maybe she’d have four dream cars.

4. Forming

Here’s where we bring things into our lives. What I love about this is that it doesn’t take WORK. In fact if we get caught up in working to make what we want to form happen, it’s a lot less likely to. Forming is about tuning into the feeling-state of what it is we want, dropping the tension around wanting it. Goodbye, “I NEEEED this or I won’t be happy!”, hello “Right now it feels good to stay in the feeling-state I arrive at when I think of what I want down the road, while doing what makes me happy right now.”

And THIS is the kicker. Continuing to do what feels right and true and wonderful right NOW, while sustaining the feeling-state of what we hope will happen down the line. Love loves love. Abundance gravitates to abundance. Happiness multiplies.

This connection to the universe–to oneness via wordlessness–is what The Secret misses out on.

Here’s a few things that have come around in my life, seemingly spontaneously. And then I remembered I was kinda unconsciously practicing Martha Beck’s tools. So, yeah, I can’t really take the credit–I give that to the universe.

– 5 new life coaching clients

– my dream man

– a way to make passive income

– more yoga classes


This week, I invite you to take a break from the CNN headlines in your head. Do something where you get into enough of a rhythm that you find wordlessness. This is also the state positive psychology pro Mihály Csíkszentmihályi calls “flow,” where you’re being challenged just enough that your mind becomes calm and you feel incredibly present. From that space, once you being to regularly feel “flow” and calm and peace, sense oneness. Use any of the ways mentioned above. THEN once that feels natural and easy, I invite you to bring in Imagination and Forming. See what happens! Start small. And then DREAM BIG.

Jul 31, 2012 · Comment

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