Here’s the one I grew up with: You need to work hard hard hard in order to make a living. Work is work, and that is that, and it’s not related to your dreams or dharma or destiny. What should always come first are these three things: stability, a pension when you retire, and vacation pay. Work comes first–always. Also, there is never quite enough money to live a full life, and the solution for that is to try to save more.
THE POWER OF YOUR MONEY STORY
Here’s what happens in my body when I believe all of that: I get tight in my chest, nearly stop breathing, feel tension in my shoulders, and all shifty in my feet. I start looking for distractions. I feel resentful towards the people I work with and the job I have. I contract and put up armor.
Here’s what happens when I don’t: I am so FREAKIN excited about life! I am in LOVE with what I do and each day wake up with a ‘yes’ on my lips. I feel energized, strong, breathe deep and give more. I’m stoked about EVERYTHING I do and open to every opportunity that comes up. I get to meet the world with a smile.
You’re savvy and smart and self-aware, and the answer is instantly obvious. Let’s just say that it took me a while longer to learn that one. So is my money story healed? Five years after I quit my job as a magazine editor to leap towards destiny–it comes back up in cycles. But, here’s the kicker: it doesn’t run my show anymore. Awareness is damn powerful.
Last week I listened to a call facilitated by a Nona Jordan, a Life Coach and business yogini. This woman is on a mission to–among other things–help seva (service) inclined business people heal their money stories.
One of her primary tactics is this: The loving-kindness meditation. For yourself. Yup, not sent out to other people, not to someone who’s caused you harm. Yourself. Why? Because if we can’t sit and honor ourselves, cherishing who we are, it’s not likely we’re going to be able to let other people honor and cherish what we have to offer. Translation: We’re not going to be able to receive money from them, get paid what we’re worth, or ask for what we deserve. And if we have trouble marketing ourselves, telling people what we do, or asking to be paid, we likely have some money story challenges.
Another tactic that Nona teaches really well is the idea of the money story: What’s yours? Think back on times in your life where money-related memories come up. Anything related to work, worth, or money. Jot them down. Then note down how you felt, and what messaging the people involved conveyed–hello, family!
What’s your story?
Draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper. From left to right, fill in money, work or worth-related memories. Write down how you felt, and what messaging was conveyed. Awareness is damn powerful. Watch how this plays out in your daily life.
Now pair this with the loving-kindness meditation. Sit down with yourself. Envision yourself right in front of you. See it all–the zit, the extra weight, the crazy hair. See it all and don’t look away. Be open. Be open. Notice the thoughts of self-judgement. Notice and let them pass. Come back to sitting in compassion. And then move to love. This is like the love you feel for a pet, or a baby. This love doesn’t care about poop on the carpet or spit-up. It’s not waylaid by so-called imperfections. It doesn’t find fault or place blame. It honors and praises and recognizes your innate talents, gifts and light. Keep coming back to that love.
p.s. I’ll be doing this, too.