Lately I’ve been feeling “very full”. These are terms I’m using instead of “very busy”. Because words are powerful, and “very busy” makes me feel a very stressed. But very full makes me feel like my cup runneth over.

And the newness that has filled me up–a part-time probably leading to full time communications gig with http://www.myyogaonline.com/ –is a job I absolutely adore. It’s all about yoga, health and wellness, and taking it to the world. This is my passion, I get to use all my skills, and I’m getting paid for it. It’s yoga! I get paid to promote yoga! Amazing. I just finished writing an email to an old friend from high school, where I told him, “My dream life has come true.”

So here’s the trouble. I’m feeling like I’ve lost my yoga. I’m feeling like I’m struggling to stay connected–to the greater, good, and wonder-full. Because when I’m “very full” I feel like I have very little left for my asana practice, for my meditation, for challenging and staying aware of my mind and my ego, and evolving spiritually. I don’t want to have to head to a yoga retreat to do this. I need it daily.

So here’s my plan:
1. continue with my morning practice (walking meditation and asana)
2. spend some of the money I’m making on as many workshops as I can. Max Strom and Mark Whitwell!
3. keep a yoga book on the go at all times. Right now: Kundalini Tantra, by Swami Satyananda Saraswati
4. stay in touch with my much-loved teacher, Swami Maheshananda Saraswati. (Note: ask for advice on lack of yoga problem. Remember October retreat on Salt Spring with him coming up!)
5. admit defeat: head to an early morning yoga class when times get so busy my mind is too distracted to facilitate a solid morning practice
6. write my blog
7. meditate on the bus, and in line at the grocery store
8. sing mantras in my car
9. breathe deep–remember to breathe deep

10. ask for help. any advice, anyone?

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September 11, 2009