But of course I would stumble upon this today, of all days, having just stepped knee-deep into the wet mud of that special kind of sorrow you just described as loneliness. I haven't even been able to SAY the word, never mind admit that was what I was feeling, until now! Too much pride to accept my humanness – it brought up such a self-loathing in me.So, thank you for this post.It persists despite my admittance to it regardless, and today I was able to find some breathing space around it, acknowledge it, OWN IT, and in doing that, give it some honor. Maybe even say hello to it and make friends with it. If I can't identify it, then how can I heal it? I don't feel the pressure to "get rid of it…quick now! Before anyone sees you! Everyone else has been able to avoid this affliction, why can't you!?" my mind would snip at me.OK, so Lonely has a name now and it's sitting beside me having tea. Funny that, because it just got smaller now that we're friends. And I just got a wee bit more honest and a bit closer to myself.I breathed a sigh of relief to see you give the finger to the universe. That's passion. You KNOW what you are feeling, and you feel it deeply. Your capacity for loneliness amplifies as does your ability to share with another when the pendulum swings back, as it does (just sometimes not as quickly as we'd like).I too, look for the lesson in every dropped spoon! Explorers investigate! You can walk through the forest… or walk through the forest and stop to see the slug on the bark beside the moss on the bark and be amazed at the world going on in there. Lovers of life want to KNOW their experience. Thank God for the explorers that pass their lessons onto me…one more little clue to help in this navigation.Here's the best part. You, Lindsay, rides by me on your bike along the Island walkway on the water. I'm in a bit of my pain, but the "random" run-in cheers me up, sets me back on my path a bit more connected. I think to myself, "look at her, carefree and radiant, she's mastered this, now why can't you." The biggest folly is our thinking we are the only ones.So, I find out I'm not alone, and neither are you. I suspect the inner ache is there to keep us searching, reaching out for source, for connection. Imagine it's absence – how artless and dispassionate we would risk becoming!!Let's just keep on running into each other and brightening each others' day and keep doing it with more people and amazing things can happen on this lonely planet.See you soon ;)
Hey there, I’m new to yoga and took your class and loved it. Also, this post is beautiful! I guess I really relate to the giving the universe the finger element. I do it with my art sometimes. Thanks for sharing your words, here are some of my pictures:
hey Mei! thanks for this. your artwork is whimsical yet poignant–I love it!
Limdsey, when I met you in Vancouver this was exactly the space I was in. It passes with time. Sending love and light at you,Michelle