“If I had a different job, I’d be happy.”
“If my mom was more loving, I’d be happy.”
“If my friends would be better to me, I’d be happy.”
Here was my big one, and it was so big I didn’t even realize it was there ‘cos I’d believed it for years: “I can only be happy if I have a boyfriend.” My relationship would end, I’d cry and sob and feel like my WHOLE WORLD was over! I’d gather my closest girlfriends and vent and moan about how I was going to be alone FOREVER! I thought he was the ONE!
3 Comments
I have been lately become aware of how important silence and solitude is to life in general and more specifically personal growth. I keep seeing repeatedly this theme from many different traditions of putting importance of sitting in silence long enough for your ego to calm down and get out of the way so that the answers that you need have a chance to come to you. Some say they come from God, the inner teacher, form source, the universe or from Love. But no matter what all of them say to get there you have to have the quiet time alone to give you the best conditions to receive the message. So I can definitely see how the knee jerk compulsion to either not be alone, working towards not being alone or fretting over being alone can be a huge hindrance to anyone’s health and well being.
Thanks for a wonderful reminder of that Lindsey!!! <3 <3 <3
Like you, I definitely look outside myself for happiness. Rather than looking to men, however, it was my employment situation.
I have been sure over the last few months that I would be happy if I had a different job. While that might be the case in some situations, simply getting something different will not solve the problem of not knowing what I really want to be doing. I’d simply carry my unhappiness (and possibly regrets over leaving) to my new place.
I got obsessive about checking the online sites to see what the new postings were. I wrote five different versions of my resume to cover completely different skill sets.
What I didn’t do is the hard work of finding out what would ultimately make me happy doing 8 hours a day. I am now in that place. It is not as exciting, as frantic, but I am alone with my thoughts and not rushing the process. I’m actively exploring elements of my personality that I wish to use to earn a living, and figuring out how they can best be fulfilled.