heart of the matter: living below the neck

Head Heavy
I was head-heavy for a good chunk of my life, careening around with most of my self concentrated in the area above my neck, nearly toppling over with the weight of all those hundreds of millions of thoughts. Mostly worries. And, surprise, surprise, I often fell over–metaphorically speaking–tripped up on my own feet because they simply could not keep up with the freight trains racing me around. I fell in love with yoga because it got me out of my head. I made it my life choice because it, quite simply, made everything better.

Taking it Deeper
But I decided this year to take things deeper. Deeper in. Talks with Shiva (aka. Dr. Varma, my Avur Vedic doc) got me thinking about love. Not the “Ohmygod I am soooo in love with him” kind of love. But the “Oh, my God, I feel your love” kind of love. The kind of love you can feel for anyone, anything, anywhere, when you are dropped out of your head, and in your heart centre.

Heart Centred
I want to be in that space all the time. I want to feel my heart centre open, strong, and free, but most of all guiding me, in everything I do. Because when I operate from that space, I’m a better person. When I’m in my heart centre, I’m not thinking things like, “What if they think I suck at this?” or “That expression that just flitted across her face–does that mean she thinks what I’m doing is lame?” and, finally, “Maybe I should pull away.” When I’m in my heart centre, I don’t really think too much at all. I’m just there, or rather, right here, completely present and in this moment.

Get What You Give
And in this moment, where the heart–and the greater, good, and wonder full–lives, I can truly give love. Because it’s not mine. It’s not from me at all. When I tap into this space of endless care and giving, I feel more love than I could possibly ever find within my own small self. And I get even more than I give.

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May 5, 2010 · Comment
 
 

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