6 ways to experience success–on your own terms

hammock

We miss this. We forget it. We get all caught up in so many other things. But when we get it, when we do it–everything changes. And Konstantin knew it. He reminded people of it. And then everything changed.

Here are

6 ways to experience success–on your own terms

1. Do it for the love.

Love the art in yourself more than yourself in the art. Konstantin Stanislavsky was a Russian actor and theatre director. The Stanislavsky system would inspire numerous acting teachers in America whose teachings became a dominant force in film acting. He’s famous for teaching this: ‘Love art in yourself, and not yourself in art.’

What the heck does that mean? It means love the process more than the end result. It means do it for the doing, rather than the receiving. It means do it for the love, not for the love of accolades or recognition or because you want something in return. Do it for the love.

2. Define success.

How do you define success? If you’re like me before someone asked me this question, you might not have spent much time considering it. My entire magazine editing career was founded on other people’s definition of success: money, fame, power. The pinnacle, for me, was going to be getting my name and title–‘Editor-in-Chief’–above a parking spot. And by the time I was 22, I was well on my way there, assistant editor of four different publications and being treated like a VIP: free trips, free spa treatments, free hotel stays, free meals, invites to the hottest parties.

I’d never asked myself: what would success mean to me? In work, relationships and life? And so, I was miserable. Fast forward: I figured it out. Started creating a life that was an expression of my own definition of success. Goodbye, miserable. Hello, happy.

3. Define your Everyone.

Have you ever said to someone else or thought to yourself “If I do that then everyone will think…” or “I can’t do x because everyone else does y”?

Often we are pursuing a certain definition of success because everyone else is. Or so we think. And then we start to look around. We start to get curious. Exactly who is this everyone? And we start to see that the everyone is often a few specific people we’ve let have a strong influence over our life. We start to see that there are so many ways of doing and being in this world, and other people–who may not be voices we hear or who may not have had any influence in our life so far–are doing things differently.

Look at your everyone. Define exactly who in your life says things need to be a certain way.

4. Define your Hall of Champions.

This term comes from a coach named Martha Beck. These are the people who are living a life more like the one you’d like to live, and will continuously remind you of your innate intelligence, attractiveness and capabilities. They may not be people you talk to. Martha Beck tells the story of creating her first Hall of Champions, and having it full of people who she had only interacted with by reading their work. You can have Oprah on your Hall of Champions.

Create your Hall of Champions. Then, use them. When your Everyone is speaking loud in your head, invite your Hall of Champions in, instead.

5. Be the peaceful warrior.

Take action that feels more like peace, and less like anxiety, stress or like you’re shackled. Often, if we’re pursuing someone else’s definition of success, we feel a lot of stress. If we’re pursuing our own, we’ll experience the stress of stretching our boundaries, of expanding our limits, of getting out of our comfort zone, but it will feel very different, and more in service of the reason we’re doing it: because to live in this different way feels more like peace. Like a big sigh of relief.

6. Do it again. And again. And again.

There are certain swords that Sammurai warriors use. And these swords are mighty strong. They get that way after being beaten with a hammer. Mashed down until they become the strongest material possible. Life will do that for you. It will strengthen you by giving you hard times, but getting you to work at something, to navigate a struggle and continue to return. So that, like the Samurai sword, when it’s time to be a peaceful warrior, you’re nearly invincible.

Love Lindsey

Jan 21, 2016 · Read More · Comment (1)

this year, evoke magnificence. 5 steps to create your dream year

be the author of your life story ona praderas

Looking Back to Jump Ahead

Early in December, I start thinking about the new year. I look back on the year I just had and do something a coach I love calls “running game film.” Like an athlete will watch the film of the game they just played to assess how they did–what they rocked and what they want to strengthen–I do this for the year I just had.

What did I love?

What did I loathe?

When was I at my best?

What would I like to do differently?

What we Pay Attention to Grows

And then, I get excited. I get excited because I know that when I give myself time and space to slow down and look at things from a place of compassionate curiosity, I magnify. What we pay attention to grows.

Imagine finding the love of your life and then ignoring him or her. Would your relationship thrive? Would it be all it could be?

Our relationship with our life is like this–when we nurture it, it thrives. When we give it time and attention and love, it grows into all it has the potential to be.

5 Steps to Create Your Dream Year

On New Year’s Day I did something magical. (I use the term magic to talk about things that seem illogical, like they don’t make sense to our analytical mind, but they are wonderfully, absolutely happening.) This process for creating your dream year involves great intention, purpose, and joy. I did it on New Year’s Day. You can do it anytime.

Get a big sheet of paper. I mean BIG. And some colored pens. And another smaller sheet of paper.

1. Self-recognition and appreciation. On the smaller sheet of paper, write down what you want to recognize about you and what you did in the previous year. This is your time to celebrate who you are and what you did–no holding back. Remember: what we pay attention to grows. So if you give yourself the time to acknowledge and recognize even small steps towards big goals, well…they grow. This step gets you into powerful creator mode.

2. Envision it. Get the bigger sheet of paper. Close your eyes and begin to get quiet. Set your intention to attune to your wisest self, your highest self, the Self beyond the self. Then set your intention to imagine all that’s possible for you in the upcoming year, all that you would love to experience and create. One way to get your mind to think of this is to ask yourself: “If anything were possible, what would I want to create in my life this year?”

3. Record it. Grab your pens and go. No editing, no second-guessing. Write down words and goals. “I want to write a book.” “Passionate. Purposeful.” “Put it all on the line.” “I want to earn 100K.” Whatever it is for you–write it down. Include how you want to feel. It helps to set a time limit–it helps your mind stay focused. Include key areas of your life: money + work, relationships, self-nourishment, stuff. You can see a snap of mine on Instagram.

4. Live it. Once you’re totally complete with step 3, take the next leap. Imagine that it’s one year from now. You’re telling a group of people who love you everything that’s happened in the year before. What you achieved. What it felt like. Get all into that vision, as though it’s already happened. Talk up a storm. Be thankful. Be fierce. Be all “of course it happened.”

5. Challenge yourself. Imagine that the people you are telling ask you this question: “What was your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it?” Answer that question.

Celebrate.

You did it! Put the paper up where you can see it. Remember what it felt like to stand in that place of having DONE it. Get into that state regularly. Act from that place.

Create your dream year.

Love,

Lindsey

{The image above is a caricature of me by Ona Praderas. I love her work.}

Jan 4, 2016 · Read More · Comment

10 inspirational quotes I love

RespectHerHustle

There are tons of inspirational quotes out there. My favorites combine heart and hustle, mind and soul. And help us remember how much of our life is up to us–that we are powerful, creative, authors of our life story.

10 inspirational quotes I love

1. Respect her hustle.

2. You have two choices: you can either throw in the towel, or use it to wipe your face.

3. “You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” Brene Brown

4. “Life when the sun shines should be lived full throttle—soaring.” Jenny Lawson

5. You might not be the best. Do it anyway.

6. Why? Because I can.

7. The more you do it, the more you know that you can.

8. Test it. The trust comes.

9. Action cures fear.

10. Follow your heart. Take your mind with you.

Love Lindsey

Dec 23, 2015 · Read More · Comment

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Dec 15, 2015 · Read More · Comment

They said it couldn’t be done. I did it.

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Dec 9, 2015 · Read More · Comment
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