Maple Ridge, Coquitlam, Pitt Meadows. I’m coming your way

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The Courage to Live Your Purpose

Talk, author meet and greet and book signing

From Darkness to Light

Confronted by the sudden realization that her entire life no longer fits her, magazine editor Lindsey Lewis promptly has a quarter-life crisis. She leaves her former dream job, seven-year relationship, and home. Pursued by anxiety and panic attacks, Lindsey embarks on a new path that takes her to a studio apartment in Vancouver, a one-bedroom in Paris and then Greece, and time after time to a yoga mat.

Along the way, she meets three strangers who will change her life, her perception of what’s possible, and ultimately, her understanding of herself. From Darkness to Light: Devil Wears Prada meets Eat Pray Love. An uplifting story of personal transformation, travel, and starting over.

When and Where

When: Saturday, June 4 at 10 am
Where: Black Bond Books, Haney Place Mall, Maple Ridge

10 am Talk on ‘The Courage to Live Your Purpose’
10:30 am Q+A
10:45 am Draw for a 2-month pass and hoodie from Oxygen Yoga and Fitness. Must be in attendance to win.
11 am – 12 pm book signing

See you there!

Much love,

Lindsey

May 2, 2016 · Read More · Comment

The Fear Cure

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I recently read Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book The Fear Cure. Given the nature of my nervous system, I’m always on the lookout for books that help me calm down. One of the funny things about my life is that people always tell me how calm I seem to be, and I feel like I’m always walking around revved up like a race car. Luckily, I’ve got a fear cure. And I’m sharing it with you in this post.

Things I’m Thankful For

I’ve managed to get to a place where walking around revved-up doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. I’ve gotten used to the jitters, the jumps in my heart, and have figured out how to sleep. And, I get to design my days in a way that lets me meditate and exercise in the morning, go down to the water in the afternoon, and spend zero time in a car commuting anywhere. Plus, I work with really, really great people.

Still, I’ve noticed that there’s been a strong upswing in the fears and nerves category lately. And I can guess why: my new book is now open for pre-orders. This is so exciting, a dream come true, and something I’ve been wanting for nearly my entire life. It’s also kind of terrifying.

Things I Worry About

I have a list of things I worry about related to this:
1. That nobody will read my book.
2. That tons of people will read my book, even people I wish wouldn’t.
3. That of those people who read it, two will like it/find it helpful.
4. That of those people who read it, all of them will like it/find it helpful and I’ll be swamped with requests for…stuff.
5. That my closest friends and family will think parts of it are far too weird and woo-woo, and I’ll have to figure out what to do about that.

And I’m just getting started.

Thankfully, right at this very moment–the moment I’m typing this–I am starting to laugh.

Laughter

That’s what the fear cure does for you. It lets you laugh at your fears. Lissa Rankin has some neat ideas about how to handle fear and develop courage in her book.

And I’ve got a few up my sleeve these days, too. And, since I have a hunch you sometimes have a list something like mine, I’m sharing them here with you.

Here you go.

Fear Cures

1. Take your fears to the next level. When I voice my fears aloud I use a cartoonishly loud and wacky voice. I shout them out: “Nobody will read my book! Everyone will read my book! People I don’t want to read my book will read my book! Some of my friends and family will think I’m a total weirdo!” Picture me standing on chair as I do this. With a megaphone. I also like to add in a “Aaaaaaaa!” sound.

The truth is, my fears are funny. They’re so contradictory and unfounded, with so little evidence to support them. And I can see this when I exaggerate them. It makes me laugh.

2. Look for evidence. Oh boy does our mind loooove to look for evidence. It’ll pull in the most outlandish things to prove that a fear is founded and definitely going to happen. Knowing this is key. ‘Cos we can pull in way more real-deal, actually true, not outlandish evidence to prove the opposite of our fears. Nobody will read my book? How about ‘Lots of people will want to read my book’? I can list at least three reasons why I know that’s true. And I bet you can for your opposite thoughts, too.

3. Feel for peace. Truth feels like peace. It feels like a sigh of relief. It feels like the opposite of worry, stress and anxiety. So feel for when you feel peace, and test out taking action that stems from the thoughts that generated that feeling. Not the ones that made you feel more fearful or anxious.

Need a clear example? How about this: when you worry about money, do you confidently go out and create new business, new clients or ask for a raise? Or do you tuck in and hope things get better? On the flip side, when you think the peace-thought “My fears have never come true, and I’ve always had a roof over my head and food to eat”, what might you go out in the world and do?

4. Stay in the now. Fear likes to project us into the future–and it’s not a pretty picture. Fear says things like “What happened once will happen again and again! People can’t be trusted! You’ll fall on your face! Things will never get better!” Stay in the now. Look around you. Notice the roof over your head, the food in your fridge, the people who will always be there to help you. List at least thirty things you feel grateful for, right now.

5. Ask what truth and love would say. We all have access to a wiser part of us. We can call this our Higher Self, our Soul, our Heart, our big-S Self vs small-s self. Call it whatever you like. That part of you is connected to truth and love and it’s verrrry intuitive. Ask what truth and love would say.

For me, truth and love would say “Oh, sweetie, calm the frick down, you are hilarious. There’s nothing here to even worry about. Take one step at a time. Be gentle. And be open to what might happen. Magic is coming your way. Just you wait.”

And, you know what? Truth and love is right. I’ve experienced this time and time again. And when I hear this part of me speak, I feel a big sigh of relief, a great sense of contentment and peace. And I know: I’ve stepped into truth.

With much love, and light ahead,

Lindsey

Apr 5, 2016 · Read More · Comment

could your mindset be holding you back from success?

Could your mindset be holding you back from success?

This question is one I got so excited about a number of months ago: Could your mindset be holding you back from success? I’d explored mindset from different angles, but never specifically like this. This approach was all about simplifying everything down into two easy-to-use categories of two different mindsets. One, that doesn’t serve us. Another, that serves us very powerfully–and that we can adopt and learn.

The Success Mindset Experience

When we do, we experience greater peace, feel more at ease and less stressed, and are more likely to persevere, face challenges with good humor, learn what we need to learn, and keep going until we get there–that place we really want to be.

This post is both an break-down of that inquiry and the ‘what to do’ if your answer is ‘Yes, my mindset is holding me back from success’ I’m also including an edited version of a talk I gave on this topic recently at Rhodes Wellness College. We got right into it. And, it was so much fun.

Success Mindset vs Stuck Mindset

Two teachers played a vital role in my exploration of all of this stuff: coach Robert Holden, especially his book Authentic Success, and researcher, presenter and social and developmental psychology expert Dr. Carol Dweck, especially her book Mindset.

I’m mostly going to talk about Carol Dweck’s work here–though Robert Holden’s was pivotal too. I recommend it.

Carol Dweck talks at length about leadership, success, why certain kids and adults experience it, and why others don’t. She gets into all industries and arenas: sports, entertainment, education, the corporate sector, even intimate relationships. She brings one lens to all of these arenas: mindset. She divides mindset into two categories: growth and fixed. And this one concept–are we adopting a growth or fixed mindset?–applies to success in all of these arenas.

Failing? Or Learning

When we’re adopting or stuck in a fixed mindset, we tend to:
– Give up more easily
– Have a hard time handling it when things aren’t going perfectly
– Prioritize achieving something versus getting good at something

When we’re in a growth mindset, we tend to:
– Keep going in the face of difficulties or challenges
– See the opportunity to develop their skills when things aren’t going perfectly
– Prioritize getting good at something versus achieving something

The major difference? People with a fixed mindset put “getting it right” first. They—like me in university–often believe ability is fixed, and that if they don’t get it right the first time, it must mean they won’t get it, and that they’re deficient in some way. If other people see them not getting it right the first time, they’ll be exposed as flawed in some way.

Talk about an anxiety-inducing way to live.

People with a growth mindset put learning first. They often believe that ability is not fixed, that if they don’t get it right the first time, the challenge will help them better develop their skills, and contrary to meaning they won’t get it, and that they’re deficient in some way, a challenge means they will learn something to help them develop their skills.

Talk about a much more fun, exciting and rewarding way to live!

Help is Here

Take a look at the above definitions–are you in a Fixed mindset? I sure was. And, it’s ok. The great thing is that we get to choose. Is this mindset serving me? If not, we can do the work to switch over to a growth mindset. I’m strengthening this in myself and seeing a remarkable difference in how I feel. It’s been super helpful during the different stages of my book, From Darkness to Light: from writing, to editing, to working with the designers, to now going into the ‘spreading the word’ stage.

I’ve barely scratched the surface of what’s available to serve you in this concept. If you want to learn more, and I highly recommend you do, check out Carol Dweck’s book Mindset.

This talk will give you a broader understanding, too.

With much love,

Lindsey

Feb 24, 2016 · Read More · Comment

more happiness. Andrea Cairella interviewed me. here’s what I said.

Mo’ happiness. We want it. We seek it. We look for it. And, sometimes, we discover it was there all along. Andrea Cairella interviewed me for Relationship Lovecast Radio. We didn’t talk about relationships, but we did talk about happiness. Listen Here You can listen in here. Some of What Was Said If reading’s more…

Jan 27, 2016 · Read More · Comment

6 ways to experience success–on your own terms

We miss this. We forget it. We get all caught up in so many other things. But when we get it, when we do it–everything changes. And Konstantin knew it. He reminded people of it. And then everything changed. Here are 6 ways to experience success–on your own terms 1. Do it for the love….

Jan 21, 2016 · Read More · Comment (1)
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