6 ways to experience success–on your own terms

We miss this. We forget it. We get all caught up in so many other things. But when we get it, when we do it–everything changes. And Konstantin knew it. He reminded people of it. And then everything changed. Here are

6 ways to experience success–on your own terms

1. Do it for the love.

Love the art in yourself more than yourself in the art. Konstantin Stanislavsky was a Russian actor and theatre director. The Stanislavsky system would inspire numerous acting teachers in America whose teachings became a dominant force in film acting. He’s famous for teaching this: ‘Love art in yourself, and not yourself in art.’ What the heck does that mean? It means love the process more than the end result. It means do it for the doing, rather than the receiving. It means do it for the love, not for the love of accolades or recognition or because you want something in return. Do it for the love.

2. Define success.

How do you define success? If you’re like me before someone asked me this question, you might not have spent much time considering it. My entire magazine editing career was founded on other people’s definition of success: money, fame, power. The pinnacle, for me, was going to be getting my name and title–‘Editor-in-Chief’–above a parking spot. And by the time I was 22, I was well on my way there, assistant editor of four different publications and being treated like a VIP: free trips, free spa treatments, free hotel stays, free meals, invites to the hottest parties. I’d never asked myself: what would success mean to me? In work, relationships and life? And so, I was miserable. Fast forward: I figured it out. Started creating a life that was an expression of my own definition of success. Goodbye, miserable. Hello, happy.

3. Define your Everyone.

Have you ever said to someone else or thought to yourself “If I do that then everyone will think…” or “I can’t do x because everyone else does y”? Often we are pursuing a certain definition of success because everyone else is. Or so we think. And then we start to look around. We start to get curious. Exactly who is this everyone? And we start to see that the everyone is often a few specific people we’ve let have a strong influence over our life. We start to see that there are so many ways of doing and being in this world, and other people–who may not be voices we hear or who may not have had any influence in our life so far–are doing things differently. Look at your everyone. Define exactly who in your life says things need to be a certain way.

4. Define your Hall of Champions.

This term comes from a coach named Martha Beck. These are the people who are living a life more like the one you’d like to live, and will continuously remind you of your innate intelligence, attractiveness and capabilities. They may not be people you talk to. Martha Beck tells the story of creating her first Hall of Champions, and having it full of people who she had only interacted with by reading their work. You can have Oprah on your Hall of Champions. Create your Hall of Champions. Then, use them. When your Everyone is speaking loud in your head, invite your Hall of Champions in, instead.

5. Be the peaceful warrior.

Take action that feels more like peace, and less like anxiety, stress or like you’re shackled. Often, if we’re pursuing someone else’s definition of success, we feel a lot of stress. If we’re pursuing our own, we’ll experience the stress of stretching our boundaries, of expanding our limits, of getting out of our comfort zone, but it will feel very different, and more in service of the reason we’re doing it: because to live in this different way feels more like peace. Like a big sigh of relief.

6. Do it again. And again. And again.

There are certain swords that Sammurai warriors use. And these swords are mighty strong. They get that way after being beaten with a hammer. Mashed down until they become the strongest material possible. Life will do that for you. It will strengthen you by giving you hard times, but getting you to work at something, to navigate a struggle and continue to return. So that, like the Samurai sword, when it’s time to be a peaceful warrior, you’re nearly invincible. Love Lindsey